Wednesday, December 30, 2009


I haven't written in my blog for a long time, mostly because I was afraid of what I would write. After my wonderful July 4th weekend, my life fell apart. It happened the minute I opened the door to my house from this great weekend. I am not going to get into major details as those of you who know me well know what I went through. From July 4th to the end of October, my life changed dramatically. My man of five years left without a goodbye and moved to the arms of a sick girl 25 years younger. After the trauma, a restraining order, and becoming empowered, I have taken some baby steps to recovery. I am trying to work on forgiveness, or at least, moving from hatred as that is not healthy for your soul. Because of all this, I haven't written, but I am now ready to continue with my blog.

So to say August, September, October and a good part of November has been erased from my life, so it has been erased from my blog.

But, my friends, I am back and getting stronger. I love you all and all the support you have given me during my rebirth.

Friday, July 31, 2009

Sarah's Key by Tatiana de Rosnay

Rarely does a book stay with me the way this book does. It is a story about the Holocaust, both past and present. The book starts off with a Jewish family living in Paris, France. The Jewish roundup of 1942 is one of the opening scenes of the book. This family is part of the roundup. The ten year old daughter, who is Sarah, does not understand that she will not be coming back. She decides that her four year old little brother would be better off loxked behind the bookcase in hiding until she does come back. she puts him in there with a flashlight, book and water. Unfortunately, she does not come back because she is locked in an arena before deportation.

Days go by and with the passing of each day, she is more and more guilt ridden about the fate of her little brother. In fact, this guilt is what gives her the determination to live and beat all odds of survival. And, this is just the beginning of the book.

We then get thrown into the present with a journalist who is researching that era in France. Through her research she discovers this family and goes on a mission to find out what happened to all of them, and, in particular to Sarah. The more she researches the more obsessed she gets. With passion she uncovers everything about this family.

I won't tell you what transpires because I believe that you should read this bookas there is something in there for everyone. I will warn you it will change something about you and each person will be changed differently.

For me, one of the things that has happenedwas I went to a mini-family reunion during the July 4th weekend. There I learned things about my grandmother that I never knew. When questioning my mother about this she added more information, then another cousin added even more. How is this related to the book? Well the journalist in the book honored that family by researching them and their story lived on. I think that I am going to research more about my grandmother and write her story, whatever it was. I also realize that my mother is 86 years old and her story should be written too, along with her 84 year old sister who is ailing. what a wonderful tribute it can be to honor the life of someone by writing their story. It certainly has opened my eyes and I am sorry that I didn't think about this when some other relatives were alive as I am sure that they had amazing stories too.

Thursday, July 30, 2009

How do mothers do that?

I don't know about the rest of you but my mother has the uncanny ability to say just a few words, or a sentence, and bring me right back to childhood (not in a good way either).

Well the latest was just before we were getting ready to go to her house for the July 4th week. She calls me and asks when I am coming. We had just gotten off the phone two days prior talking about when I was coming and what I was bringing. So I told her we were coming Thursday night just like we had talked about. She says oh really? I am going out to dinner with your cousin on Friday night to a really nice place so you can go to a hamburger joint. I almost threw up! Back to childhood feelings of not feeling wanted. How does she do that so easily?

Well the upshot was, after phoning a friend, calming down, I called my mother. I explained my feelings and how hurt I was at not being wanted. (remember I am an only child, did you forget that?) Her take on the conversation was that she didn't want me to spend a lot of money and thought she was saving me. I patiently explained that I am in charge of my own money and will spend it the way I want to spend it.

Well it felt really good to get it out in the open and clear things up. The week went well after that and the dinner was great.

I still don't know how to not revert back to childhood pangs, but at least I am getting stronger in sticking up for myself and explaining my feelings. I have taken one more step in growing.

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Woo Hoo I Won

simonschuster: You win! Twitter Big Rewind

Today was a good day as I just won a new book from Simon and Schuster! yeah! Can't Wait.

Saturday, June 27, 2009


So I had the best birthday ever. My sons took me and Cliff to Charleston, South Carolina for a four day weekend. Blake brought his girlfriend Jessica and Dylan brough his girlfriend Jordan. What a party!

We left at 6AM in 50 degree weather, when we arrived in Charleston the temperature shot up to 105 degrees. We stayed at the Renaissance Hotel in downtown Charleston which was near all the shopping and the market. Our first lunch was in a beautiful restaurant and I feasted on a grilled shrimp salad and peach iced tea. We then met up with the boys had a snack and shopped. Afterwards, we went back to our hotel, had a few drinks and then prepared for dinner. We went to a rooftop bar near our restaurant and then walked over to a famous restaurant called Magnolias. The food was amazingly delicious as well as the wine pairing. I had shrimp and andouille sausage over pasta. On the way out I slipped on some wet floor tile and did a face plant. I was more embarassed than hurt, especially when one of my high heeled shoes landed on someone's table. We then went back to the hotel and I iced my knee and took some advil.

On day two we did some more shopping and had a wonderful brunch. I also had a pedicure. We did some sight seeing and then I was surprised with a massage. Talk about pampering! We took a cab ride to The Boone Plantation which is the oldest plantation in Charleston. It was very interesting. We later went out to a wonderful seafood restaurant and I had shrimp again! I think shrimp became a theme here.

On the third day we waited on line forever in the brutal heat for a famous Sunday brunch at the Hamilton Grille where Rachel Ray had recently dined. Afterwards we took a horse and carriage ride and learned about some history of Charleston and saw the beautiful houses that lined the streets. One interesting fact was that some picket fences resembled wrought iron fences. This meant that during the War Between the States (Northerners called it the Civil War) the house donated the wrought iron to the war effort and the picket fence meant that is what they did. Also, if a home was 75 years or older you were not allowed to tear it down.

On the third night, we went to a bar where the famous deviled egg dare began. My son Dylan dared Blake's girlfriend Jessica to eat 16 deviled eggs (32 halves). If she did it he would give her $200. We then took bets on whether or not she could do it. I was the only one who betted with her. I also twittered the dare as it was happening. Unfortunately she quit at 12 eggs (24 halves) got sick and had to go back to her hotel room. Poor Jessica, she missed the fun for the rest of the night.

Monday Blake and Jessica left on a 6AM flight because they had to go back to work. Dylan, Jordan, Cliff and I hit the stores once again and then had a lovely brunch. We then packed up and went to the airport. Some of the pictures are posted.

Saturday, May 23, 2009

I am now working on my gardens. The first garden is the herb/flower garden. The irises are getting ready to bloom and the seeds are sown.

Friday, May 22, 2009

Missy can't believe her eyes!

Max loves the new window. He thinks I bought it for him.

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

UnionSqPressCongrats to @wifeofwriter, @jdanger, @bhalpin and @megseff for correct answers. from TweetDeck

Today was an exciting day for me. I entered a contest posted by Union Square Press and won! The big question was about the San Francisco Chronicle. The question was what murder started that paper's fame? The answer was Abraham Lincoln, they wrote about it before any other paper at that time in 1865. Yeah me!

I have started planting my window boxes. We can't plant a lot because we still have frost at night sporadically.

My rhodies are in bloom! Spring made it to Vermont

So this is the new kitchen garden window. It is in and needs a good painting. I am excited.

Monday, May 4, 2009

So I have two beautiful cats that I adore that are both rescued cats. The oldest is Max, he is an orange tabby. He adores me. He will sit and just stare at me for hours. He puts his little arm around me. Sits as close to me as humanly possible. When allowed he will live on top of me. My younger cat is Missy who is a tuxedo cat. She is beautiful, fun loving, loves her toys and communicates very well. Max is jealous of her and won't let her near me when I am sitting on the couch. That is his territory and he is the alpha cat. Cliff is very jealous of Max. At times he can't stay in the living when Max is there, has a fit and goes to bed. I think Cliff is old enough to know the difference between an animal's attention and his.

Thursday, April 16, 2009

The World of Medicine

The Medical World

Okay, so on April 3rd I went in for hernia surgery. The operation and recuperation was really unremarkable; however, I need to comment on the medical world. First off, I live in a small town of about 3700 full time residents. The doctors in our area are small town philosophy type doctors. You know, the ones that care and have good bedside manner? The ones that you see on the old TV shows, remember them? Well, I think they moved and took their nurses with them. Before I start on my rant, I must tell you that my ob/gyn and gp doctors did move and left me in a quandry. It is treally tough to lose your doctors when you have had a history with them for over 10 years. They just up and left. My new slew of doctors do not know me nor do they seem to really care about knowing me either.

The Hospital:
I stayed overnight. Remember, I had stomach surgery so getting around is not the easiest thing to do, especially the act of getting out of bed. So for the first step out, I rang the nurse to tell her I had to go to the bathroom; unfortunately, it took her way too long to get to me. Not a fun way to start, especially since the floor was half empty. Then I needed pain medicine. Well, forget about that. I rang the nurse again. She comes in and tells me she refuses to me pain medicine until I eat. Come on guys, are you kidding me? So I have to call up the food staff to get something to eat, on an anesthetic stomach. It takes over an hour to get the food and to eat something. Ring the nurse again, it takes her over two hours to get back to me. At this point I want to kill the world. She injects some medication into my IV. Fifteen minutes later the IV explodes out of my hand and there is blood everywhere. Ring the nurse again, this time it only takes her 30 minutes to get to me. She looks at the blood, me, and says don't worry it is worse than it looks. I can put the IV back in, I chose not to have it done. Did I get new bedding? No, I was doomed to spend the night with no so clean sheets. Now, I decided there is no way I am spending the night alone at the mercy of the nurse from Misery so I had to beg to be switched to a private room so Cliff could sleep over and take care of me. After an hour of begging they finally did switch me. Now, I did speak to the surgeon who did my operation four times about a private room prior to surgery. I guess that wasn't important to her. Did anyone read the studies about people that have someone in the room with them recovery a lot faster/better? Guess the papers haven't hit Vermont yet.

Next question, so if you have surgery when it is over the doctor never comes to check you out in the hospital? Did not see her once after I was done. What happened to the good old days?

Next problem. So now I am home recuperating with a two week no drive restriction and I run out of my daily medication. I call the drug store for renewal and find out that there are no renewals left. So I call my new GP and am I told she won't renew it unless I am seen by her. Now, I must tell you she is new to the group that I go to (been 20 years on and off). Also, I have been on this medication for 7 years. So, I call the surgeon to see if she would renew it for me and of course she won't. Call back the GP and make an appointment to go in. Now, since I am not driving, I have to walk there. I get there and have to wait for an hour to be seen. The new GP comes in and talks to me, she is new here from Canada. Takes down the vitals, reviews my medical folder and says to me I shouldn't have come in so early after surgery. Now I want to kill her. She finally writes me a prescription but for six months only. I ask her why and she tells me she doesn't know me well enough that I have to come back again in six months.

So, the moral of the story is dont' get sick, don't go to doctors, don't go to hospitals and forget your medications.

If a doctor/nurse ever reads this, please remember bedside manner, getting to your patients quickly and making them feel valued. Medical techniques are getting better but the personal side is forgotten.

Sunday, March 29, 2009

This one is a card I did a few years ago. It is a drawing of one of my kid's puppets!

It is hard to upload pencil and charcoal drawings, this one is just a test. It is my latest card. I am not sure this is doing it any justice.

I know Tera and some others on Chicks on Lit love Dr. Seuss. I made posters for this wonderful day. Here a few of my Dr. Seuss drawings.

So the exciting news is that Cliff is making a studio and potting shed for me renovating the side of my barn. He has just put in the big picture window. This is him hard at work.

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

OK, so today I went for my post op visit and didn't get great news. I was hoping my surgery would be done laproscopically and was told today that it was not possible. First off, I am not supposed to have a hernia, I am a woman for goodness sakes! Anyway, now I am getting pretty nervous about the whole thing because it sounds so much more involved than I previously thought. So on March 30th I have an appt with the anesthesiologist and on April 3rd I am scheduled for surgery. I think my doctor is too darn cute, thin and pretty to be a surgeon. How can she have all that an be smart on top of it?

Sunday, March 22, 2009

So now my friend Teri walked me through the ability of adding a picture to my profile. I am really glad that she helped me because I didn't want to have that ghost profile picture that is standard when you don't post.

A little more about me. The profile picture is me and my mother. My mother is 85 years old (she would kill me if she knew I was posting her age), doesn't she look great? She still jogs and walks up flights of stairs for exercise.

My mother and I have not gotten along for a very long period of my life. Growing up was very difficult especially being an only child. I would say about 8 years ago we decided to work on our relationship, via an old boyfriend who made it his mission. I am glad that he forced the situation, it was the best thing that he could have done for me. The picture that you see is the first, and only, mother/daughter vacation that we took to Cancun for one week. Now we talk at least once a week, I can confide in her and I am happy when I am with her. We have come a long way. She is even coming to stay with me for a week to help me recover from surgery in April.

In my journey, I am constantly working on mending relationships and working towards better relationships in my life. I have spent many years on the hermit side because it is comfortable. It is real work to not be that way. Don't get me wrong, I love being with people, especially with friends and family, but at times I have to work at it.

My next project is to figure out how to get pictures on to the blogs that I am writing. I am hoping to hook up with Teri again so she can show me how to do it.

Monday, March 16, 2009

The meaning of Pygmalion:

The dictionary defines this as:

In classical mythology, a sculptor who at first hated women but then fell in love with a statue he made of a woman. He prayed to Venus that she would find him a woman like the statue. Instead, Venus made the statue come to life.
Note: The play Pygmalion, by George Bernard Shaw, adapts this theme: a professor trains a girl from the gutter to speak and behave like a lady, and then he and his new creation become attached to each other. This play became the basis for the musical comedy My Fair Lady.
Pygmalion [(pig-mayl-yuhn, pig-may-lee-uhn) (1913)]
A play by George Bernard Shaw, about a professor, Henry Higgins, who trains a poor, uneducated girl, Eliza Doolittle, to act and speak like a lady. Shaw based his story.

For me, I chose this because it means transformation. I believe that I am constantly changing and becoming a better person, I am working on it. If we can use the definition of coming to life, it means for me that I am getting more and more in touch with myself. This is important for my own personal journey. I believe that the more that we know about ourselves the more that we can accomplish. I hope that you will join me in my journey and that you will share yours with me.

Sunday, March 15, 2009

Beware the Ides of March

Well, many years ago on the Ides of March, I got divorced. How different my life has been since that day. I often wonder what my life would have been like had I stayed. I can't decide what was worse -- the divorce or the marriage. I often find myself reflecting on this day. I can't say that the marriage was totally horrible as I had three beautiful children from it.

Exciting things are happening in my life now. I live in a beautiful house that was built in 1880, on two acres of land and has a huge barn. I am almost famous because this barn is the birthplace of Burton Snowboards. The barn has a huge main part of two floors and an added part that I believe was put on as an after thought. We are in the process of converting this part into a studio for me. I will be able to sit in there and read, draw and write. This is very exciting for me. The first thing we did was put in a huge picture window so I can look out and get inspired. I am a huge window person. The window overlooks some of my flower gardens which will be ideal for me. We are now reroofing because there were too many leaks which eventually rotted out part of the floor and wall. So sheetrocking the entire place is another part of the project. When I get the hang of this blog, I will figure out how to add pictures of the project to show the step by step progress.

Saturday, March 14, 2009

March 14, 2009

Well, this is my first attempt at a blog. I am not really sure what I am doing yet, but I am going to give it a try. My friends keep telling me that I should do this, so here goes.

I live in Vermont and am anxiously awaiting the end of the winter. If you don't know me well, you would not know that winter is my least favorite season (next to fall). I love the spring and summer; the spring because everything is growing and life is beginning, the summer because I don't have to work and time is all mine. My friend Holli is visiting California right now and is camping in the desert. She has been sending me pictures via her mobile. I would send her some back but I think she would rather not be reminded of the snow as I believe she hates the winter as much as I do.

Another friend, Teri, has suggested that I start a blog so I can post some of my art work, which at this point in time is mainly cards. I think I am going to try and give it a go. I have never posted any artwork before, so this is a huge step for me.

I have become very involved with a website called Goodreads, and especially a group called Chicks on Lit. I am lucky to have made quite a few friends from the website, Holli and Teri who are from that site. This site is changing a part of my life, which is a really great thing and I am very grateful.

It is Saturday, and I love the weekends. Today has been very busy as I went to BJ's, a place that I really love, and spent too much time and money there. It was well worth it. I am now getting ready to go to a St. Patrick's Day party. Should be fun if it isn't too crowded. I tend to shy away from crowds as I am a bit claustrophobic.